


With All my Might

by syncro37



Category: Paranatural (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, implied trauma, thematic exploration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 15:19:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15464304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syncro37/pseuds/syncro37
Summary: What can I do, when the strength of my cutlass fails me and when all my days of training goes to waste?





	With All my Might

 

I drop the sword. Dad was right in that revenge is sort of like ice cream. There’s this cold, empty feeling in my head like a brain freeze that won’t go away and I try to walk it off but it keeps pounding harder. Then, I hear footsteps.

 

There’s a sharp alto voice echoing through the halls followed by a flat tenor.

 

My heart stops.

 

Well, it really doesn’t stop, which is a good thing because I don’t think I can see my dad again. I’ll, I’ll-

 

“Oh, hey Cody!” Jeff waves like nothing happened but Violet glares at me and I keep my distance. “What are you doing out here?”

 

“Yeah Cody, what _are_ you doing out here?”

 

There’s a flame in Violet that’s absent in Dad, Lisa, or me, and it burns. “N-nothing.” I try to smile but my mouth won’t do what I tell it to do. Jeff holds Violet’s hand, moving behind her, and my hand twitches to reach out, but even with all the sweat, they’re so cold, and I wonder if I touch Jeff, he’ll turn cold too.

 

I shiver.

 

Violet let’s out a _hmph_ and drags Jeff towards me. Then she pushes him in front of her. “You two. Hug. _Now_.”

 

I can’t. I can kill a spirit with Dad’s sword, dodge a thousand hitballs, and even beat up Johnny, but I can’t do it. I can’t do this.

 

I don’t have to.

 

The damn breaks and Jeff starts blubbering as he yanks me into the tightest hug of my life and I gasp, remembering how tall he is, and how soft his chubby arms are. My fingers tremble but I force them around Jeff’s neck and his skin feels like an oven compared to mine but he doesn’t pull away.

 

“Jeff I- are you alright?”

 

“Yeah man, I’m alright.”

________________________

I stop doing pushups. Muse scoffs and goes back to reading his magazine. My sister walks to her room, so I knock but she doesn’t answer.

 

I knock again.

 

“Go away Ed.”

 

I stop and after a couple minutes of standing, I hear sniffles that turn into whimpers and whimpers that turn into sobbing.

 

“Izzy are you ok?” Of course she’s not ok. I’m so stupid, I’ve always been stupid, but never has being stupid hurt this much.

 

She cries and cries and the sound is worse than Miss Baxter running her nails against the chalkboard and my gut drops because I know it’s my fault. Izzy never said she was mad but Izzy doesn’t say a lot of things and maybe that’s why she likes Max so much because she doesn’t have to say a lot of things for him to get her.

 

I pull my hair. ”Muse, what do I do?”

 

“Pfft, I don’t know, she’s not my sister Nerdwad.” He twirls his tail. “What I _do_ know is that you need to work on those biceps. Especially after that stupid stunt you pulled with Mr. Spends.”

 

I put the brush away and bite my lips.

 

Muse is right. I can’t stand up Gramps, I can’t defend her in hitball, and I can’t even judo flip Mr. Spender.

 

But

 

I don’t have to.

 

Isabel said I didn’t have to.

 

What if she’s lying? It’s so hard to tell with her. She doesn’t have my glasses, and sometimes there’s this look on her face but there's a haze between the lines of what she says and what she means.

 

It doesn’t matter, I think as I suck in a breath and slide down the wall beside her door.

 

I’ll be there when she’s ready.

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this sleep deprived and hungover so sorry if the writing's a little funky. I feel kind for bad writing so much Cody and Ed cause even though they are my favorite characters I feel like I need to stretch my horizons. Anyways I'm trying a different POV so tell me what you think! Did you like it? Did you not like? Should I do first person more often or should I stick with second and third? Anyways thanks for reading!
> 
> (One day I'll stop obsessing over duality but that day is not today)
> 
> But yeah, I find Parantural's take on strength and masculinity super fascinating, especially with chapter 5.


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